KISSING COUSINS – or – DAVID FRIEDMAN GOES TO A CONVENTION…AND PULLS A MIDGET OUT OF HIS ASS

“Kissing Cousins”^[1] sound like exactly the type of film that we would find somewhere deep in the dirtiest parts of the Something Weird Video catalog. But instead of it coming from a HGL, or a Novak, or a Sonney, or a Friedman, it would actually be another low-rent producer, Sam Katzman^[2], who would grab this potentially smutty title first, in 1962, and for an Elvis picture of all things! ^[3] But not so fast my friends, digging a bit deeper, from an overall exploitation standpoint it turns out that it was actually Uncle Dave Himself (of course) who had first used “Kissing Cousins” ten years earlier, during his days as a press agent for Paramount Pictures. So join me as we take a closer look, and see if you agree with my theory that David F Friedman had to pull a midget out of his ass to save face at the 1952 Democratic National Convention, maybe.

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A few months ago I came across a news article in an Alabama paper from the summer of 1952 about David F Friedman (DFF for the duration) and his wife hosting a dinner for Bob Hope and Jane Russell during the Democratic National Convention which was being held in Chicago, where DFF was of course then based. My first thought was this was obviously part of Dave’s job with Paramount (which it was), but then the hint of a memory started to stir in the backwater recesses of what passes for my brain, something that I recalled was possibly in DFF’s book “A Youth in Babylon”. So off to one of the dust-covered shelves in my office I went. And yep, DFF has an entire section about the 1952 DNC and Bob and Jane, and a rather great story about how he used Ms Russell and one of the contenders for the Democratic Nomination as pawns in his exploitation of SON OF PALEFACE. But digging further, as I tend to do, I found that there very well might be more to the story than DFF put in the pages of his book!

In the first, and to date only volume of his autobiography, A YOUTH IN BABYLON, DFF sets the stage that both major political parties held their conventions in Chicago that year, with the GOP going first and nominating the man who single-handedly beat fascism in Europe, (former) General Dwight D Eisenhower. The Democratic Convention was, rather conveniently for DFF, scheduled for the same week that one of the films DFF was repping for Paramount, SON OF PALEFACE, with Bob Hope and Jane Russell, was scheduled to premier in Chicago at the Oriental Theatre, which was also celebrating it’s own reopening after renovations.

Always one to see the angle of mixing business and pleasure, DFF goes on to tell that he came up with a scheme to play on Ms Russell having the same last name as one of the main contenders for the Democratic nomination, Senator Richard Russell from Georgia, which, if he could pull it off, “would hit like midget on Morgan’s knee ^[4]. DFF’s great plan was for Ms Russell to do a meet-and-greet with the Senator and play on what by now should be the obvious gimmick that they may, or may not, be cousins. Ms Russell loved the idea, the Senator’s team loved the idea, the press really loved the idea, and, perhaps most importantly, the Senator, who happened to be a bachelor, also loved the idea.

So the conceit was hatched at 1:00 that very afternoon at the Senator’s suite in the downtown Chicago Hilton Hotel. For her part Ms Russell did her pseudo-familial duty and gave a firm endorsement of the Senator, saying “we Russells have always upheld a proud old American name Senator, I hope you’ll be the first President Russell.” After the Senator gave her the customer thank you kiss on her hand, the star puckered up for a more substantial conjugation of the verb, which the Senator, being a chivalrous, and single, Southern Gentleman, felt obliged to accept. And just as the two Russell’s lips met DFF yelled out “Kissing Cousins!!!”—which of course translated into exactly the press coverage DFF had expected. The gig had been a glowing success! ^[5]

But there might be a bit more to this story, and there could be a few things that DFF either (conveniently) forgot in the years between the convention and him sitting down to put his life down on paper…or perhaps he just thought best not to include a few things in his version. You see, my theory is Uncle Dave HAD to come up with a plan on the level of a “midget on Morgan’s knee“, and quick. And I think there was at least one, and most likely two, very good reasons…

For starters, it turns out that Ms Russell had participated in a few other events while in Chicago, at least one which seems to have had far less control by DFF, because she made some not so complimentary statements about women in politics, complaining about the “strident voices and obvious aggressiveness” of female “wardheelers” ^[6], and suggested that “men should wear the pants in the family“. This of course did not go over well with the female contingency at the convention, and it was particulary bad timing because this was the first conventions for either party where women demanded, and began to receive, a not insignificant voice. And they used that voice to rebut Ms Russell. For example, a Mrs Helen Weeks of Utah retorted Ms Russell’s sexist points by saying “Miss Russell is selling something we aren’t. She sells sex. We’re interested in good government. And the men don’t seem to mind us–they want us.” ^[7]

But if that was the only kerfuffle of mixing politics and Hollywood that happened that week DFF could have just sat back and let those articles write themselves, because just getting Ms Russell in the papers was enough, no such thing as bad press and all…except for when that bad press makes you, your company, and even more damning your stars and your film all look bad. And the events of the evening BEFORE the Kissing Cousins scheme had all the makings of just such a pickle.

As already mentioned, DFF notes in A YOUTH IN BABYLON that the SON OF PALEFACE premiere was the same week as the DNC in Chicago, and that the film’s stars, Bob Hope and Jane Russell were on hand for the premier. He mentions the line around the corner at the Oriental Theatre for it’s 11:00 AM show. He mentions the police-car escort he’d setup for Ms Russells ride from the airport. But he didn’t mention something as important as Paramount (ie DFF) throwing what was supposed to be a big after-party planned for the night of the premier ^[9], with an invite list which included the entire press corps who were in town for the DNC, and as many of the politicians as would allow themselves to be seen at such an event (which I bet DFF was banking would be most of them!). Knowing how conventions go the party start time was set for a rather late 11:00 PM, anticipating the closing gavel to be around 10:30 as usual. But conventions can take on a life of their own, especially ones where no clear candidate has taken a commanding lead going into the start of the convention, and the 1952 Democratic Convention was just one of these gnarly beasts ^[10]. And on the night of the film’s premier the closing gavel didn’t hit until well after midnight, and at least one account hinted it might have been as late as 2:00 AM when the delegates, and the press, were finally released into the hot Chicago night. So the few folks that did wind up going to the SON OF PALEFACE After-Party showed up several hours late, several hours during which Bob and Jane and Dave and a ton of other Paramount folks waited, and waited, and waited. And those that did manage to drag themselves over to the supposed festivities were dead tired and not in much of a mood to party, regardless of the free food and drinks ^[11].

In short the evening was a major bust. So, my theory goes, to get ahead of this DFF had to come up with something brilliant, and come up with it quick. In effect he had to figure out how to pull a (metaphorical) midget out of his ass! And of course he did: Kissing Cousins!

That was 72 years ago now, and I’d wager there’s no one left who was there to confirm or dispel my theory, so it will remain just that, a theory. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t end this little article by pointing out that mere hours after I post this on another stage in Chicago at another Democratic National Convention all that talk about “men should wear the pants in the family” and “women may know less, but the understand more” will be put to rest, again, and for good, when Kamala Harris accepts the nomination to be the Democratic Candidate for President of the United States. And, after she’s standing on the other side of that pile of broken glass, I wonder if Ms Russell’s husband, if he were still around, might have a few pointers for the future first First Husband…

Notes and things...

1. Kissing cousins refers to an old Southern custom, or so I’m told. At family reunions, close cousins-up to about fifth or sixth-rate a hello-and-goodby kiss. Others get a handshake.[↑]
2. add info on Katzman, but don’t go overboard[↑]
3. KISSING COUSINS (1962) is considered to be Elvis’ “first truly bad film”, and that’s saying something.[↑]
4. This is a reference to a story he tells earlier in the book, where a press agent, Frank Braden for Ringling Brothers/Barnum and Bailey circus, who DFF of course knew, once snuck a midget, Lia Graf, into a congressional hearing where JP Morgan, the richest man alive, was giving testimony, and they managed to somehow placed her onto Morgan’s knee. The exchange and the way Morgan handled the surprise of course made all the papers and in effect helped take the crusty edge off of Morgan in popular opinion. However the story turned out a lot less rosy for Lia Graf, the midget. She couldn’t take all the celebrity and notoriety that came with this and would eventually quit the circus and return back to her homeland, Germany, where she would eventually be one of the “freaks” rounded up and would become a victim of Auschwitz’s ovens.[↑]
5. Or this is the version that DFF tells in AYIB, but press accounts from the time suggest that someone asked if they were “kissing cousins”. But I think we can all agree DFF’s version is far better.[↑]
6. Wardheelers – I initially thought this might have been a sexist term referring to women’s shoes, but it’s actually a valid term, according to Merriam-Webster: “a worker for a political boss in a ward or other local area“.[↑]
7. I’m betting Mrs Weeks might have had a few more colorful remarks off the record.[↑]
8. So I guess she wasn’t totally against women in politics.[↑]
9. In fact that party is the one where the picture I found last month was taken.[↑]
10. Senator Russell himself was both an indicator and ultimately a victim of this: he didn’t get nomination by a long-shot.[↑]
11. And to top it all off I’ve seen a few accounts which also said the ‘free food and drinks’ were rather lack-luster, at best.[↑]